I carried a big stick, but .......

OK.... so- who says if you're the ' best ' at something, anything- you've got to belittle the others around you ( whether directly or- my favorite, the " singing the competition's praises; but- they're just not the same level as WE are ...") ?
What happened to theory of the meek inheriting ths kingdom ? Now- don't get me wrong, I've done my share of shitty, self indulgent things- and I'm pretty sure I'm headed down Hell's highway, but- I can tell you I have never knowingly belittled another to advance m'self. And in my own self defense- those aforementioned shitty self indulgences, I did as a much younger, less caring person. So- maybe that's the recipe.... do a bunch of stupid things ( justified as ' growing pains ' ) when you're younger ( or less mature ), and then bitch about others doing the same.
All in the name of competiton, whatever form it may take.... hmmmmm....
Seeya' .

Workin' the Midnight Hour

I am a Social Worker. It's what I do- it's what I've done since college. I'm pretty sure I do a good job. However, anyone who works in this field recognizes one thing- you will not be a rich man doing the greater good for others.


This leads you to do things to supplement your salary- going on call as example. I am lucky that the agency I'm working for has such programs. Anyhow.... let's say I work in not one, not two, but three on call programs to supplement my salary. Let's say since Friday, I have been called out within one of these programs at least once. Good for the paycheck ( you hope ), but hard on the family.


I know.... it's my decision to take or not take call outs. I get paid ( for the most part ) for my services. But.... it's getting harder.


It's getting harder to leave my family in the middle of a meal.


It's getting harder to leave, and truly not know when you will be home again.


It's getting harder to tell my children good bye in the middle of a softball game.


I don't know if I'm getting older- but, I do know it's getting harder to work a 10 hour day, turn around and do an 8 hour on call shift, and do another 10 hour workday.



So... here's the question- do my children know that I never want to leave them to do this on call ? Will they understand as they get older ? Do they know the sacrifice I make of leaving them to go on call is for them ?



When I argue at home, many times it's over MONEY. Those who know me know that money is not my master. I have always been the type of person just to say- ' ... it's just money- I'll just have to make more of it ... '. Here's the crazy thing.... arguments lately have been over the amount of time I take on call !!!

To explain, please indulge me.... I am not the type of person who has to make a certain amount of money to feel secure in my own skin; rather, I'm all about the experience of life ( if that makes any sense ). I am reminded often of my family's financial obligations- and many times our inability to meet them within the suggested timeframe. Sooo... I take additional call- thinking this is what my family needs ( mo' money... mo' money ). Anyhow- it seems like this is still not enough to meet the needs, and now in addition to arguing about it- we have a round two of the amount of time I spend away on call.

So.... this took a pretty nasty turn pretty quickly.... anyhow- thanks for sticking around. To my family- know that at this point I know two things- I love you, and I hate being on call....

Staycation

OK ... let's say I don't make enough money. Let's say I think I do, but no one else does. OK.... let's say I'm the kind of guy who NEVER takes a day off, and REALLY looks forward to vacation with the family. Got me so far ?

Anyhow- let's say that gas cost is just out of hand, and at the urging of others, the Martin Family is going to forgo the idea of a beach trip, or Disney for one more year. OK... let's say the topic for vacation has been moved to a series of ' day trips ', or as I've read- STAYCATION.

This is where the family stays at home, while doing whatever. Let me continue by stating the Martin Family has tried this in the past, and not experienced a lot of success with it. If history is our teacher, as I truly believe it is- we can expect the following:

1. We will spend as much money if we went on an actual trip.


2. This will not feel like a vacation, or break, as we will BE STAYING HOME !!!

I am caught up feeling the same things that get on my nerves when I'm at home will undoubtedly be worse, as I will be at home home 10-12 more hours on the day during my 'break' from work.

So- here's to the guy who invented the idea... have a cold one on me. In fact , get it out of my refrigerator...

Seeya'....