Workin' the Midnight Hour

I am a Social Worker. It's what I do- it's what I've done since college. I'm pretty sure I do a good job. However, anyone who works in this field recognizes one thing- you will not be a rich man doing the greater good for others.


This leads you to do things to supplement your salary- going on call as example. I am lucky that the agency I'm working for has such programs. Anyhow.... let's say I work in not one, not two, but three on call programs to supplement my salary. Let's say since Friday, I have been called out within one of these programs at least once. Good for the paycheck ( you hope ), but hard on the family.


I know.... it's my decision to take or not take call outs. I get paid ( for the most part ) for my services. But.... it's getting harder.


It's getting harder to leave my family in the middle of a meal.


It's getting harder to leave, and truly not know when you will be home again.


It's getting harder to tell my children good bye in the middle of a softball game.


I don't know if I'm getting older- but, I do know it's getting harder to work a 10 hour day, turn around and do an 8 hour on call shift, and do another 10 hour workday.



So... here's the question- do my children know that I never want to leave them to do this on call ? Will they understand as they get older ? Do they know the sacrifice I make of leaving them to go on call is for them ?



When I argue at home, many times it's over MONEY. Those who know me know that money is not my master. I have always been the type of person just to say- ' ... it's just money- I'll just have to make more of it ... '. Here's the crazy thing.... arguments lately have been over the amount of time I take on call !!!

To explain, please indulge me.... I am not the type of person who has to make a certain amount of money to feel secure in my own skin; rather, I'm all about the experience of life ( if that makes any sense ). I am reminded often of my family's financial obligations- and many times our inability to meet them within the suggested timeframe. Sooo... I take additional call- thinking this is what my family needs ( mo' money... mo' money ). Anyhow- it seems like this is still not enough to meet the needs, and now in addition to arguing about it- we have a round two of the amount of time I spend away on call.

So.... this took a pretty nasty turn pretty quickly.... anyhow- thanks for sticking around. To my family- know that at this point I know two things- I love you, and I hate being on call....